As I sit and lay on the beach, I could feel the warm heat from the sun. I hear children playing in the pool behind me and families running to the ocean. As a newlywed, I watch as my husband, hands me his phone and gets ready to go for a swim in the ocean. As I watch him head down to the water, I am overcome by an intense urge to take his phone and toss it right into the water.
We are on our honeymoon, and while this is an incredibly special time in our lives, my partner in life is very attached to his phone, as we all are. Everything these days comes to us through our phones. However, for him, its harder to put down the phone and enjoy the present moment around him. For most of our honeymoon, he’s been on his phone, playing games or reading the news. I sit there on the beach for several minutes with his phone in my hand and I ponder the possible consequences of throwing his phone into the ocean. Would my husband still want to be married to me if his new wife just threw his phone into the water?
Our connection with our phones has caused us to be so connected to the technology world, we are now experiencing a disconnect with the present moment world around us. How can partners who are more attuned to experiencing present moments, share this with partners who are unaware of how much time and attention phones take away from relationships.
Many clients experience feelings of loneliness, feeling alone, feeling like experiences are missing from their lives. Others may feel anxious and depressed. It is possible that the connection we crave as human beings since not being met due to our use of our phones. A form of disconnection from those around us, has been felt like never before.
According to Psychology Today, a partner who chooses their cell phone use over their relationship, sends the message that they are not as important or being ignored. In essence, it is a form of rejecting their partner. Which is incredibly painful for the other person.
Whether your partner seems to choose their phone, their work, the gym, their friends or their family over time and attention with you, it can all lead to feelings of hurt and isolation.
My work with you will be to start a conversation about what you’re both experiencing in the relationship. These moments happen so fast, they can be easily missed and difficult to put words to them after the fact. Additionally, creating technology free time to spend time with one another doing your favorite activities together. My hope in working with you and your partner is to create working dialogue towards a resolution to technology use and create something that feels right for the both of you.